Okay, “Enlightenment or bust” might be a bit dramatic, but…

"Dang Zang" is an empty name. The blog has to do with the dharma; material related to Buddhist teachings (Tibetan style in particular, Kagyu in even more particular), meditation, gurus and lamas be they genuine or flaky, books and events. I do have a more personal blog, Pica Pica, and a site for my work.

Oh yes, it's by Alex Wilding

Archive

  • Deer deer, that was a surprise 21/05/2013
    So there I was setting out with the dogs for a walk this morning, like nearly every morning, when there was a rustling and a movement in the bushes. Then out she came, maybe 10 or 15 m in front of us, what I take to be a female deer. She crossed the road and sprang Read more... Deer deer, that was a surprise […]
  • The Thatcher funeral 15/04/2013
    I am a free citizen of the United Kingdom. The police have no business whatsoever telling me whether and when to stand to attention, sit, wave, smile, salute, two-finger salute, hiss or boo. And they certainly have no business at all telling me which way I should face. This has nothing to do with “respect for the Read more... The Thatcher funeral […]
  • Had you noticed? 29/03/2013
    Probably a relatively low proportion of the people that I know would have voted for the Tories at the last election, although, given the train-wreck that Labour had become, I could understand the temptation. So perhaps I am preaching to the converted. The thing is, that Polly Toynbee, always well worth reading, has summarised with frightening clarity how Rea […]
  • Looks like a rough ride ahead 20/03/2013
    So Cyprus has rejected the so-called bail-out. Well done, I say. Perhaps they will default, and perhaps it will be a disaster, but at least they are being honest about the fact that their finances are already a disaster. When someone who is not very well off has difficulty keeping up the payments on a loan, the Read more... Looks like a rough ride ahead […]
Sunday December 5th, 2010. Posted by Alex W:

Guilt and bad karma

What does Tibetan Buddhism have to say about how we can move forward when we feel guilty about what we have done?

Very occasionally I wear, actually rather reluctantly, what might be described as a “pastoral” sort of hat. Recently I was asked if I could make any suggestions for somebody who had got in a mess, and I did my best to repeat my understanding of traditional teachings on this kind of thing. The questioner sent me a very grateful message, saying “Thanks for making me give myself another chance,” so I thought perhaps I might repeat it here. The questioner wanted to keep this private, and I have removed one slightly specific detail from her question. The thing is, this kind of situation is common enough, we could probably find her anywhere.

Question:

I’m a student and last year, I had depression. I ended up cheating on my boyfriend of 5 years. He was my first boyfriend and he was a kind soul and forgave me and I repeated it again. Finally, when I was out from the depression, I realised everything was a mistake. We have broken up but managed to keep in touch as good friends. Since then, I’ve regretted my actions and I’ve been trying to do good deeds to repent.

Finally, I found another boyfriend who’s very good to me. This year was blissful until recently I found out that I was pregnant and I had to do an abortion. I had no choice but to do it even I know it was very wrong as I couldn’t keep the baby due to my studies and the time isn’t right. I know my karma is very negative as I broke almost all of the 5 precepts. I’ve recited some loving kindness mantra for the unborn baby and dedicated my merits to him/her. But I felt it isn’t enough. What else can I do?

Answer:

Hi XXXX,
Well, you have made a few mistakes, haven’t you! But the thing is, everybody does, and this feeling of having built up bad karma and wanting to do something about it is well known. Traditionally, there are said to be  four things to do, and they are called the “four powers”.
Firstly, you are supposed to feel regret, and to acknowledge to yourself (and to the Buddha) that you have done bad things. It sounds as if that is already happened.
Secondly, you have to be quite sure that the regret is serious, and be strongly resolved not to make the same mistake again. Obviously I can’t look into your own mind, but perhaps again you have got that far.
Thirdly, you are supposed to make amends. In some cases that is literally possible – if you have stolen something, perhaps you can give it back. But in most cases there is nothing directly you can do, so you have to make amends indirectly. For instance, if you have been stealing, but you cannot give it back, can make amends by giving to the needy. Now in your case, there is obviously no way that you can undo what has been done. That doesn’t mean you are stuck, but it means you will have to think about what positive, good things you can do that are as near as possible to being the opposite of the bad things that you have done. Sometime you will have a chance to show loyalty where other people might not. And you can certainly do things to save lives. You can save human lives by giving to, for instance, charities that help starving children. Or perhaps you can save animal lives by getting involved in work to save abandoned cats, dogs, and so on. Exactly what you do will depend on your circumstances.
Fourthly, there is what is called the “power of reliance”, which is where you do religious things to create “merit” in that spiritual sense. So you can carry on reciting your loving kindness mantra, and traditionally you can do this a lot. In Tibetan Buddhism there is a popular practice of Vajrasattva (also known as Dorje Sempa), so if you are drawn to that kind of thing you could seek out teachings on that practice as well as the loving kindness mantra. In fact, reciting these mantras is the main method used for “purifying” ourselves, but it is taught that it is only with the support of the first three points that the fourth point is really effective. If you do the first three, then the fourth one can get into the corners of your mind and clean out the residues – if you don’t do the first three, the dirt will keep reappearing!